R.E.S.P.E.C.T (Part 1)
By: Demita Usher

I look around and I wonder, where is the respect? It does not seem to be in high demand nowadays. I mean of course there are those who demand respect, only after they have been rude and dismissive towards you in the process. However, as a society, I truly believe that being respectful has become a lost art. Perhaps we need to “find out what it means to....” well you know the rest. I also think along with the need to find out what it means, we need to put it back into practice and fast! Because it seems to me that respect is on its deathbed, with a very weak pulse and unless things change, a funeral is eminent. The word respect in its simplest definition means to hold in high regard or esteem. When we respect someone, we are in essence sending the message that we value and treat him or her accordingly. When we don't, we convey the opposite.

In Roman times, people filled the coliseums to watch people die in gladiator matches or be torn apart by lions. People met their demise in a bloody humiliation as the spectators in the stands cheered, clapped, and screamed for more. The respect for human life was non-existent. We think to ourselves that we could never be so cruel, cold, and disrespectful as to enjoy seeing people being brutally executed in public. Really? I give you two words that make us no different than the ancient Romans, Reality Television. It is the same brutality but without the blood. One show in point is American Idol where singers perform only to be judged (many times harshly) by a panel of “experts”. The harshest of which was Simon Cowell. If we were honest, 99% of the audience that tuned it, were those who wanted to watch the “lion” in the black t-shirt “tear” the singers apart as the audience booed, clapped and screamed in the background; just like the ancient times.

It is not just television with its lack of nutritional value programming that is contributing to our respect deficient landscape. Our personal choices are also key, being played out in real life on a daily basis. Classmates bullied one young lady until she committed suicide. One of her tormentors posted the word ACCOMPLISHED on her Facebook page the day after her death. A High School cheerleader taped being assaulted by six female classmates while two boys watched. The taped beating was then uploaded on You Tube. Even after being arrested, the girls were sitting in jail proud of what they had done as they laughed and giggled about being arrested. How can these children display such a calloused stance against another human being without conviction or conscience? If the parents don't teach respect in the home, the kids have no example to draw from. Parents teach by precept and example for good or bad. Bill Cosby said it best, “Your dirty laundry is getting out at 3pm everyday.” I have heard it said that charity begins at home and may I be bold enough to say so does respect.

Marriage these days is also lacking respect and honor. Either people are not taking their vows seriously or they have no idea what they are committing to. Tiger Woods, once famous for his golf prowess has been recently in the public spotlight for his infidelity along with Tiki Barber, and Jesse James. What is sad in these situations that though the men are responsible for their choice to step out on their spouses, the women who participated with them are also responsible. Even if these men chose not to respect their marriages, these women could have chosen to respect the wives and themselves by refusing to participate in the infidelity. There are laws on the books today in certain states that hold the “other” women legally accountable for the demise of a marriage. If these laws were enforced today, I am sure that these women would not be so quick to involve themselves with a married man out of fear for the consequences that were sure to follow if not respected.

Why is the lack of respect so acceptable in this day and time? Because disrespect can be luCreative and reward you with your 15 minutes of fame. The mistress of a married senator who bore his child got an exclusive interview with most famous talk show host on daytime television. A former Duchess got an exclusive interview with the same talk show host after it was discovered she was trying to take a bribe by selling out her ex-husband to an undercover reporter. Several of Tiger's mistresses, got a photo shoot in Vanity Fair Magazine and one of the mistresses got an offer from playboy magazine. It seems that engaging in behavior that is disrespectful to us and towards others nowadays is rewarded with television interviews, magazine spreads, book deals and even your own reality show. With perks like these, who wants to be respected?

For those who want to see respect revived and taken off life support, you may be asking, how? In part 2, I will share some principles and protocol to bring respecting back and keep it alive and well.