The Art of Ego Stroking While Advancing
and Solidifying Your Relationship
By: Jerrin Holt

It has been brought to my attention that my last few articles have been geared toward women who are either single or dating. So this time around, I have chosen to touch on a topic that can be applied to all women despite their relationship status. I’d like to offer some food for thought if you will. As I think of universal characteristics that all men have in common, one in particular comes to mind. No matter how wealthy, poor, loud, quiet, kind-hearted or trifling a man may be, we all somewhat long for our egos to be stroked. You’d be surprised to learn just how many men are encouraged, strengthened and can be persuaded by having their egos stroked by a significant other or the opposite sex in general. We all desire to feel like a man, be the hero, have our opinions considered and our actions merited with a manly respect. And in relation to spiritually grounded men, we desire to lead our relationship and please not only our partner but God as well. So before some of you ladies dismiss this article because of the truth in which I speak, read on and learn how to use the stroking of a man’s ego to get what you ultimately desire out of your man and your relationship.

Let’s break this down, so the man wants his ego stroked, he wants to lead and be held in high esteem and all of that, cool. So, when dealing with your man, try meshing the advantage of ego stroking with the power of conviction. Conviction? What does this have to do with stroking a man’s ego and benefiting your relationship? Well ladies, one method to tightening up your man in addition to prayer is to convict your man. Have you ever been tripped up and confused when someone you were fighting just seems to give in and conform out of the blue? It kind of throws you off and baffles you doesn’t it? So as a man, I can tell you how thrown off I was when a woman I was dating went against the grain. I was so used to seeing women act hard, put up walls and flex their new-age muscle that when one said to me, “Look, I am a woman. I am fragile, emotional, and am not against a man leading us down a path to excellence. I am challenging you to step up and protect me, guide me and be the man you were born to be,” I was totally crumbled and rebuilt at the same time. Wow! This was coming from the type of woman who was self-made, full of swagger and would bite anyone’s head off who stepped to her the wrong way. The fact of the matter is that she saw my potential and knew that if she could help to get me aligned with God then it would ultimately benefit her and our relationship. She convicted me and called me out to step up and take the necessary action to be a great man for her and myself.

At first, being convicted literally felt like I was handed a sub-machine gun and told to go out and fight a 500-man army who was unarmed. Although I faced great numbers, with the right strategy, patience and execution, my advantage would soon lead to victory. I was floored, yet inspired to rise to the occasion and answer the call as my ego had been stroked and I had been trusted and expected to act, think and lead as a king. This woman’s method of conviction made me a better man and set me on a path to connect with God on a level I had never experienced before. The last thing I had on my mind and in my heart was to succumb to failure (see ego).  I then sought the Lord to help me win this great battle that was set before me. With prayer and discipline, I was able to step up and become the man and the leader I was expected to be in my relationship.

When a woman comes at a man on this level, you will find that your man will either run or rise to the occasion. There will either be too much pressure or a great desire to fulfill our destiny as men of God and exercise our hero mode. Now the key to this man's strength is the support and praying power that his woman can and is providing him. This element is vital and the reason a man needs a good woman by his side. Truth be told, a good and faithful woman is our energy source, our inspiration and the true power behind our egos. Men tend to think that our power is of our own hand, but we are truly elevated by a good woman, God and the power of conviction. So ladies, instead of arguing, settling or shying away from seemingly arrogant, ego-driven men, try flipping the script and use your man’s ego to your advantage while getting him to finally answer to his calling as a real man.