BCF • A Grown Boy vs. A Grown Man By Tony Gaskins, Jr.

A Grown Boy vs. A Grown Man
By Tony Gaskins, Jr.
http://tonygaskins.com

There is a difference between a grown boy and a grown man. Although it sounds very clear, many people cannot tell the difference when it comes to relationships. For so long, many women have allowed men to tell them what they can and can’t do, what they can and can’t wear, where they can and can’t go, and who they can and can’t be friends with. The woman takes care of her man hand and foot and the man tells her what to do. This results in a relationship where the woman is controlled and parented, instead of being a vital part of a healthy relationship. When you really think about it, that’s what a lot of us are in or have been in.

Guess what? That’s not a relationship. Any man can boss you around, puff out his chest and act tough, but that doesn’t make him a man! A grown man understands that in a relationship, leadership is not dictatorship; it’s servant-hood. A grown man understands that leadership is not a position; it’s a function. A grown man understands that his greatest strength is gentleness not forcefulness. A grown man understands that a grown woman is an asset not a liability. A grown man understands it’s not his place to raise his woman, but to love her unconditionally. Grown boys are controlling- all those things I mentioned in the first paragraph.

It’s important that women are able to determine whether they are with a grown boy or a grown man. Although some things may appear similar in some ways, the two are absolutely different. Do not get them confused. A grown man doesn’t have to posture or pretend; he just is. A grown boy doesn’t know who he is and therefore “leads” out of insecurity and self-hate. That kind of leadership will ultimately lead to destruction or self annihilation. If you are with a grown boy, do not be afraid to let him go so that he can grow- if he’s unwilling to grow while he’s with you. A real woman can help a man change by being strong enough not to compromising herself respect and self worth. I’m here today and able to speak on this subject because when I was a grown boy my wife refused to accept that behavior. Her stance forced me to step up in her life or step out of her life. I stepped up!

Remember to love yourself or you will lose yourself. If you don’t know real love, someone, like a grown boy will come in and teach you how to hate yourself and then you’ll confuse the two.

~~~~~~
BIO

Tony Gaskins successfully juggles his roles as husband, father, author, life/relationship coach, motivational speaker and filmmaker. Gaskins bypassed the typical route to destiny to trek a dangerous trail that had the potential to land him at the undesired destination. Although his childhood included strong, upstanding rearing, Gaskins jeopardized his full football scholarship when his actions led him to his removal from the team after three seasons.

Upon his return to Florida, Gaskins gravitated to the street life, which led to a wakeup call one evening when a local gang robbed him. Realizing how easily his life could have been taken away instead of his possessions, Gaskins decided to transform himself to begin walking in his purpose.

Gaskins wrote and published a tell-all book, entitled, What Daddy Should have Told? This project boosted Gaskins’ opportunities to teach women the secrets to dating at the age of 23. Following this, he continued to share his experiences by sharing his story of being a “grown boy” meandering from one toxic relationship to another. Lastly, Gaskins wrote “Reclaiming Our Youth” and told his story as a rebellious teenager, living the Street life and then teaching about the pitfalls that came with it.

In 2009. Gaskins was invited to the sets of The Oprah Winfrey and The Tyra Banks Shows, opportunities which catapulted him into a larger market where he could more widely share portions of his heartfelt story with the world.

Today, Gaskins is a highly sought-after life/relationship coach and motivational speaker. His clients spread over several continents and range in age from 16 to 65 years old. Gaskins admits that the wisdom and favor is all from the grace of God and none of his own. In his own eyes, he is just a humble servant, teaching not from a college degree or textbooks, but from real life experience and God-given wisdom.




	A Grown Boy vs. A Grown Man By Tony Gaskins, Jr. http://tonygaskins.com There is a difference between a grown boy and a grown man. Although it sounds very clear, many people cannot tell the difference when it comes to relationships. For so long, many women have allowed men to tell them what they can and can’t do, what they can and can’t wear, where they can and can’t go, and who they can and can’t be friends with. The woman takes care of her man hand and foot and the man tells her what to do. This results in a relationship where the woman is controlled and parented, instead of being a vital part of a healthy relationship. When you really think about it, that’s what a lot of us are in or have been in. Guess what? That’s not a relationship. Any man can boss you around, puff out his chest and act tough, but that doesn’t make him a man! A grown man understands that in a relationship, leadership is not dictatorship; it’s servant-hood. A grown man understands that leadership is not a position; it’s a function. A grown man understands that his greatest strength is gentleness not forcefulness. A grown man understands that a grown woman is an asset not a liability. A grown man understands it’s not his place to raise his woman, but to love her unconditionally. Grown boys are controlling- all those things I mentioned in the first paragraph. It’s important that women are able to determine whether they are with a grown boy or a grown man. Although some things may appear similar in some ways, the two are absolutely different. Do not get them confused. A grown man doesn’t have to posture or pretend; he just is. A grown boy doesn’t know who he is and therefore “leads” out of insecurity and self-hate. That kind of leadership will ultimately lead to destruction or self annihilation. If you are with a grown boy, do not be afraid to let him go so that he can grow- if he’s unwilling to grow while he’s with you. A real woman can help a man change by being strong enough not to compromising herself respect and self worth. I’m here today and able to speak on this subject because when I was a grown boy my wife refused to accept that behavior. Her stance forced me to step up in her life or step out of her life. I stepped up! Remember to love yourself or you will lose yourself. If you don’t know real love, someone, like a grown boy will come in and teach you how to hate yourself and then you’ll confuse the two. ~~~~~~ BIO Tony Gaskins successfully juggles his roles as husband, father, author, life/relationship coach, motivational speaker and filmmaker. Gaskins bypassed the typical route to destiny to trek a dangerous trail that had the potential to land him at the undesired destination. Although his childhood included strong, upstanding rearing, Gaskins jeopardized his full football scholarship when his actions led him to his removal from the team after three seasons. Upon his return to Florida, Gaskins gravitated to the street life, which led to a wakeup call one evening when a local gang robbed him. Realizing how easily his life could have been taken away instead of his possessions, Gaskins decided to transform himself to begin walking in his purpose. Gaskins wrote and published a tell-all book, entitled, What Daddy Should have Told? This project boosted Gaskins’ opportunities to teach women the secrets to dating at the age of 23. Following this, he continued to share his experiences by sharing his story of being a “grown boy” meandering from one toxic relationship to another. Lastly, Gaskins wrote “Reclaiming Our Youth” and told his story as a rebellious teenager, living the Street life and then teaching about the pitfalls that came with it. In 2009. Gaskins was invited to the sets of The Oprah Winfrey and The Tyra Banks Shows, opportunities which catapulted him into a larger market where he could more widely share portions of his heartfelt story with the world. Today, Gaskins is a highly sought-after life/relationship coach and motivational speaker. His clients spread over several continents and range in age from 16 to 65 years old. Gaskins admits that the wisdom and favor is all from the grace of God and none of his own. In his own eyes, he is just a humble servant, teaching not from a college degree or textbooks, but from real life experience and God-given wisdom.
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